Twitterings

You know when @realDonaldTrump is feeling the pressure when he incessantly Twitter-rants like a cocaine-fuelled gi… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Strolling today with my 11 year old son, we amble past a festive chap, talking loudly on his mobile, just as he lam… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
My spider-senses are tingling. It doesn't take much reading between the lines to gather a second referendum is inde… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
The whimpering from the MAGA camp over the undeniable news that Russia elected @realDonaldTrump with the traitorous… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
An inside look into the excellent work @realDonaldTrump is doing to combat the opioid crisis. Sending @JudgeJeaninetwitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Benedict Francis
It's not often art affects me in such a visceral way as this did. Courtesy of the talent of @PiaGuerra
@realDonaldTrump Aw...sweet cheeks! When your nappy has been changed, I think we should discuss reality. It's this… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Self-fulfilling prophecy: a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true. Example:… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
And lo, the demon was cast unto the gates of Hell for preaching monotonous, trite bullshit while whoring himself ou… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
RT @benfrancis: I'm not a gun owner because: a) I live in a country that has it's bad points, but has sensible gun control laws; b) I don't…
I'm not a gun owner because: a) I live in a country that has it's bad points, but has sensible gun control laws; b)… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Hmm. Sounds like someone is a tad nervous that the FBI has proven it can indict foreign players in the Trump crime… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Given the state of world affairs over the last two years and after much reflection and soul-searching, I've come to… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
In government: Climate change deniers believe in it, but get paid to say they don't; Gun supporters know gun contr… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
"Set out the path" = "Filled mouth with concrete and vomited on the grass, hoping for something to materialise rese… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Hannibal Lecter scraps chips from his Liver, Brains and Chips in new "it's good for you too!" health drive. news.sky.com/story/mcdonald…
RT @acgrayling: Retweet the following fact widely & often: that Brexit can be stopped & will be stopped. It can be stopped by a vote in Par…
Thank the stars for people like @realDonaldTrump to do the sum of fuck-all during these times. Times when his adopt… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Rest easy Florida. Thitry three more cheeseburgers and a couple of golf trips and he'll be on the case. politico.com/story/2018/02/…
You know who doesn't have school massacres? Countries with gun control. I wonder what they have in place that helps… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
I think it's about time you and I discussed turning off little Russia's WiFi after 10pm on school nights. bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politi…
Labour is red Tories are blue Liberals yellow Fucking hell, let's stop Brexit.
Doctor: "I'm afraid, for the next 24 hours, Mr Francis, you should only consume liquids. Is that going to be OK for… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
RT @benfrancis: Profanities may ensue, in my ode to post-Brexit/Trump love... A Valentine's Day in Politics (Dedicated to Britain & America…
Profanities may ensue, in my ode to post-Brexit/Trump love... A Valentine's Day in Politics (Dedicated to Britain &… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Lord Rees-Mogg, he fell in love, The pompous, bête noire fop. Imagine Jacob in the nude... ...I think I'd better stop. 9/9
Stephen Miller fell in love With Satan, at his basest. He had no heart to break in two; The dead-eyed, fucking racist. 8/9
Theresa May, she fell in love But weak-kneed was this Tory. As strong and stable as a fart, She fell, bereft of glory. 7/9
Mitch McConnell fell in love With tax cuts for the richest; His jowls wrapped round the G.O.P., Corrupt and spineless bitches. 6/9
Farage the Toad, he fell in love But none returned the favour. So, under force, his poor his right hand Took everything he gave her. 5/9
Assange I hear, he fell in love; A little rapey, was it? So now he sits, alone and sobs, Locked in his little closet. 4/9
Hannity, he fell in love; Obsessed, so barely hidden. Weeping hate, whilst jacking off To Clinton - love forbidden. 3/9
Boris Johnson fell in love With mistress after mistress. Then fucked his country for self-gain; So porcine and so thriftless. 2/9
A Poetic Thread on A Valentine's Day in Politics (Dedicated to America and Britain, in F-Minor) Donald Trump, he f… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Benedict Francis
Happy Valentine's Day, lovers! #ValentinesDay2018 #HappyValentine #Valentines #ValentinesDay #poem #poetry
@acgrayling Never trust anyone who can't fathom out the use of a hairbrush and a little decorum.
Half-term lunch with one of the younglings at McDonald's: where every meal is served tepid, on a lacklustre pillow of acne and ennui.
An article rationally and succinctly illustrating why men in the UK and the people over 55 perhaps shouldn't be all… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
The hideous state of politics, when Twitter goes into meltdown because the "president" of the United States tries t… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
@george_retouch @Nigel_Farage Couldn't agree more. I guess, when it comes down to it, it's just a ratings game. The… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Austin Powers' ugly twin brother's anal wart (you know, that toad's suppurating scrotum that interferes in election… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
Hey, @VP, you may hate gays, but you certainly carry the flag of the only obviously repressed homosexual in the roo… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
In order to make the world a better place, to this utter bell-end, I scream "Jesus Fucking Christ!?" directly in hi… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
@PeePeetapes17 😱 Wow! She did, didn't she!
@YippeeKimYay Oh dear. We all pictured Cheeto coloured. Now you've made us consider "flavoured". Inordinate amount of sickie burp to follow.
I'm ashamed that I couldn't read past the name of the communications officer without mentally picturing some dude s… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
@YippeeKimYay 😂🤣
No matter what situation this guy is photographed in, it always looks as if the inflatable butt-plug with wasps in,… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
When democracy is stifled, the first thing it needs to do is take a leak. I suspect a hooker-load of leakage is on… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…

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